I am taking care of myself, the best I can, when I have time. Today is New Years Eve. It is actually my birthday. And the day after Christmas was my grandson's 8th birthday. So tonight my son and daughter-in-law had a New Years Eve family party. Included in that they celebrated my birthday and my grandsons.
I brought my mom, wound vac and all. We went about 6pm and by 8pm I could see her fizzling out. She seemed to be tired and losing her color. She never really engaged in any conversation. So we came home shortly there after. When she got in the car you could tell she was short of breath.
At home I had to help her take her coat off and change into her pj's. I could tell it was an effort for her. I gave her her pills and helped her into bed. She is now asleep and she never said "happy birthday" to me. Which shows me that these things are not that important to her any longer. And these things have just become one too many things for her to have to think of.
Despite all that you are faced with at this time, I wish you a Happy Birthday and a Happy New Year! May 2008 be filled with God's blessings of health, happiness, and peace to you and your family.
You are a wonderful and loving daughter to your Mom. I hope that I can help my parents in the way that you have your Mom if my parents should ever find themselves in need.
Thanks so much Brad. I'm sure that you would do the same for your parents. You are just that kind of guy. Things are looking up these days. Tomorrow we go off to the surgeon and are anticipating that the wound vac will come off. That will be major. It was difficult for her to carry around this machine with about 10' of tubing attached to her.
Then we will make real plans. Whether she chooses to stay with me or go home. (which I don't think she will be able to do the latter), I would like to go back to work at least for 4 to 5 hrs a day. And to know that she will be ok at home alone. I'm hoping that will happen sometime next week.
I talked with my brother tonight and he is doing much better. In fact he said that today was the first day since his by-pass surgery that he has felt really good. This Saturday will be 2 weeks post-op for him. He did say that when people tell you that you won't remember the first day or two are lying. He said that he remembers everything from the moment he woke up. So kiddingly I told him to be grateful that he DID wake up!
So hopefully I will be back 'in the loop' in a week or two.
My mom had her would vac taken off yesterday,thursday. She needs to shower everyday and I have to change the dressing everyday. The incision looks much better and I guess I can handle it. Today I took her to her home about noon time and picked her up about 3:30 to bring back to my house. She really didn't do too much while she was home, but her close neighbor came over so they chatted a while. I will drop her off at her home everyday for a while to see if she feels comfortable there. If not she is more than welcome to stay with me and my husband.
I will be going into work next week. I don't know exactly what the hours will be yet. She still has many scheduled doctor's appointments coming up. So that will take some time. I am grateful that I have the boss that I do. Although I haven't gotten paid for all of this time I've taken off, my boss has never pressured me into giving him a date as to when I would return. He just tells me to "do what I have to do". I consider myself blessed for that.
I also consider myself blessed to have my husband. He has been great. Right from the beginning of this mess, he has taken time off from work to be with me and does not have a problem with my mom staying with us. He has not only kept his obligations of work and home, he has also picked up my slack. For that I am grateful.
I took my mom to the surgeon yesterday and he said the incision is looking great. She doesn't go back for 3 weeks and I would believe that will be the last. I will be taking her to Dr. Lindenburg, her cardiologist, for a check up. A cardiologist hasn't seen her since before Thanksgiving while at Ellis. So once we get that appointment over, and find out how her heart is doing, she will be the best she can be.
I go into work now for about 3hr/day. I bring her to her house before I go and pick her up when I get out. I would like her to become as independent as she can be in her own home. If that is possible. There are many options for her, and one being that she can stay with us. But we will take that one day at a time. We all just want her remaining years to be the best they can be for her. She will be 83 years old on Feb. 4th.
So there is light at the end of any long dark tunnel!
I took my mom to the her cardiologist, Dr. Lindenburg last Thursday. He said that she was doing fine considering all that she had been through. He also gave the ok for her to go back to her own house. He wants her to go for some bloodwork and go back for a return visit in 6weeks. Which he said at that time he may want to adjust her pills. I honestly don't think that I'm going to let that happen again. She is doing fine just the way she is. And she has been through enough.
So Friday night was her first night in her own house. I really don't think she is comfortable there. We, my brother and I, want to give her a little more time to see if she will adjust to the house she has lived in for decades. I still pick her up every day for dinner at which time I clean and change her dressing on her incision.
Yesterday, Saturday, I picked her up about 3 o'clock and she had dinner, watched a DVD, changed her dressing and then took her over to my daughters for a couple of hours. I brought her home about 9pm. I will pick her up today about 3 again and I will give her a shower along with her dinner and maybe watch another DVD. I thought of going to the mall, but I think that it is much too cold for that.
She doesn't show much interest in anything, which causes a concern for me. When I picked her up yesterday,she hadn't really even combed her hair. It appears that she seems to need direction in every little thing that she does on a day to day basis. Every single thing she does, no matter how minor, is a major chore mentally. I guess what I'm saying is that she seems depressed. And has been since coming home from the hospital. And it has only seemed to get worse. And understandably so. Going through what she did at her age, or any age for that matter, has taken it's toll. She even made a statement to me yesterday that she is just tired and hopes that God takes her before next winter.
So we will just have to take this one day at a time.
Study: Heart bypass best option with multiple blockages The Associated Press
LOS ANGELES — Bypass surgery remains the best option for heart patients with more than one clogged artery, according to the fi rst big study to compare bypass with drug-coated stents. The new research dims hopes that the less drastic stent procedure would prove to be just as good for people with multiple blockages. In the study, heart attack and death rates were lower among people who had surgery than those given artery-opening balloon angioplasty and stents — mesh cylinders oozing drugs to keep vessels from reclogging. It is latest setback for drug-coated stents, which have revolutionized heart care and have been implanted in about 6 million people worldwide. They are far better at keeping vessels open than older bare metal stents. However, sales have been hurt in the past year by safety concerns and studies questioning the value of angioplasty itself for certain patients. A second study gave stent makers some good news, finding that using these devices “off label,” in non-approved situations, is not as dangerous as many had feared. Both studies were published in Thursday’s New England Journal of Medicine. Neither is definitive enough to resolve these issues, but they help guide doctors and patients confused about which treatment is best for whom. The bypass study is “a sobering reality check” for people hoping that the newer drug-coated stents “would level the playing field” and make these treatments equally effective, Harvard University cardiologist Dr. Joseph Carrozza wrote in an accompanying editorial. Blocked arteries cause chest pain by depriving the heart of needed blood, and can lead to a heart attack. One solution is bypass surgery, which reroutes blood vessels to detour around blockages. Angioplasty has emerged as a non-surgical alternative, in which a balloon is pushed into a blood vessel and inflated to flatten the clog, and stents are placed to keep the artery open. Bypass has become less common as angioplasty has risen dramatically. In 2005, about 469,000 bypasses were performed on 261,000 patients. More than 1.2 million angioplasties were done, though many people had more than one procedure. In 2005, Edward Hannan of the State University of New York at Albany published a study that found bypass to be better than angioplasty with bare metal stents for patients with multiple blockages. His new study makes a similar comparison, but with the newer drug-coated stents, which came out in 2003. Researchers analyzed two state databases of 17,400 New York residents treated for multiple blockages in 2003 and 2004, and compared deaths and complications 18 months later. Survival rates for both treatments were excellent, but bypass still showed a significant advantage after researchers took into account differences in how sick or old the patients were. People with three clogged arteries had a survival rate of 94 percent after bypass compared with about 93 percent after stenting, which translated to a 20 percent lower risk of death. Those with two blockages had a survival rate of 96 percent after the operation compared with roughly 95 percent after stenting — about a 30 percent lower risk of death. The bypass group also needed fewer repeat procedures and suffered fewer heart attacks after treatment.
I called my mom's cardiologist Dr.Lindenburg Tuesday since I noticed some bruising on her arms and legs. And since she is on asprin and Plavix to keep her blood thin, that that was the cause but wanted to be sure. Well, he called me back later in the day and did confirm that the bruising was from the blood thinners and not to worry. Actually I called my brother, since he had the same surgery and he said he is also bruising and his doctor said it was normal.
While speaking to Dr. Lindenburg, I thought it would be a good time to ask him more in detail about my mom's condition. He seemed a little put out that I would ask questions and he seemed rushed while he answered. I asked him about her depression and he said it was normal. I asked him if she would not be so "winded" when she does things as time goes on. Basically, I asked him if she would improve with time. He sort of snapped at me and said, "We never thought she would ever leave the hospital, and after everything she has been through, what do you expect?"
Well, I knew all of that,(I was there) except the part about them thinking she would never leave the hospital! I guess I was looking for him to give me some direction and insight based on his past experience. So I guess it is to just be enjoy the fact that she is still with us since their past experience would have said she shouldn't have made it this far and just take it one day at a time. And so we do.
So now I work everyday from 8:30 to 1 pm and pick her up to come over for dinner and bring her back home later in the evening. And yesterday was the best day she has had since this all started. She was sharper minded, did some things around her house, didn't seem shaky and not as winded. So we are thankful for that. I'm telling you, that she is one tough cookie for sure. I swear that generation comes from "good stock"!
I took my mom to the surgeon for the last time last week. Her incision has finally healed!!! She is still staying at her home, reluctantly. It has only been about 3 weeks, but she doesn't seem to be settling in. She does not show any interest in anything. She use to love her cross word puzzle books and a jig saw puzzle, but not anymore. Her day consists of getting up in the morning, having tea, (since she has lost her taste for coffee}, reads the paper, gets washed and dressed and that is it. She then waits for me to pick her up after work where she comes for dinner and hangs out with us. Sometimes we go to the mall or visit other family member which doesn't seem to hold her interest either. NOTHING DOES! She also finds it hard to fall asleep. And when she does, she doesn't stay asleep. And there is more mental confusion.Depression? I do her laundry, bills, pills, doctors visits, food, showers, pretty much everything!
I took her to her primary doctor this past Friday. It was the first he has seen her since she went into the hospital on 11/6/07. He was quite disturbed at the fact that none of the cardiologists sent records to him. I had to fill him in on everything. I was under the impression that all records were to be copied to the primary physician. Guess not. We discussed her mental and physical condition and he recommended Zanex, an anti-anxiety pill. He didn't want to place her on anti-depressants at this time. He told us that sometimes when elderly people go through this type of surgery/trauma, this is what they evolve into. So I gave her her Zanex last night about 6pm. When I talked to her this morning, she said that she slept all night. So hopefully this will help her relax and help her settle in to this new normal.
I was planning on increasing my hours at work next week. I planned on going in 4/week from 8:30 to 5. I don't know how much longer my boss will let me basically pick and choose my own hours. But we'll see.
Actually, I think that this is the best she can be. She is not the same mom she was before her 11/7/07 by pass surgery. So I guess it's a new normal for me too.
It is so hard on you, I feel bad. You have the right attitude as far as accepting it as the new normal, its really all you can do. Keep your spirits up, maybe when the weather breaks she will feel more motivated.
Here we are almost 5 month post-surgery. My mom is holding her own, which is a good thing. She goes to her cardiologist and primary doctor every three months now. She still is at her own home now, but I pick her up everyday after work and on weekends and bring her to my house. She also has adjusted to her home.
The only thing different now is her mental state. She gets confused so easily now. And she gets agitated easily. Easter we were all going to my daughters for dinner. That was the plan anyway. So I called my mom that morning and told her that I would pick her up about 2pm, but to be ready at 1:30 just in case I was ready earlier. I had to have her write 1:30 on a piece of paper so she wouldn't forget. I called her at 1:50 and told her I was on my way to pick her up and she had a major melt down. She proceeded to yell at me saying that she had been waiting all day for me to pick her up. (she obviously got confused on the times) She even used the F word! My jaw dropped! And then she hung up on me. So needless to say, she was not at Easter dinner. And she didn't take any of her pills that day.
She has had a few "snits" these last couple of weeks but not as bad as the one on Easter. That is what we call them now, snits. She seems to get into these snits more frequently now. This is all new for me, so I take it "one snit at a time". She's been better this week although I noticed some agitation in her last night but thank God that it didn't escalate.
Her doctor did give me Zanex to lower her anxiety level, but I'm not comfortable giving it to her since it makes her a little groggy. I think I gave it to her once or twice. But if the snits get worse and more frequent, I guess a little groggy is ok. I think!
I am also seeking some outside help, such as nurses aids that can come in and help me with some of the tasks. Such as coming in and giving her showers. I don't know how she will react to someone new, but it appears to be my only other option right now. Now the task will be finding people you can trust.
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