Dear GOP

"Ohio really did go for President Obama last night, and he really did win. And he really was born in Hawaii.
And he really is, legitimately, President of the United State - again.

And the Bureau of Labor Statistics did not make up a fake unemployment rate last month. And the
Congressional Research Center really can find no evidence that cutting taxes on rich people grows
the economy.

And the polls were not skewed to oversample Democrats. And Nate Silver was not making up fake
poll numbers about the election to try to make conservatives feel bad; Nate Silver was doing MATH.

And climate change is real. And rape really does cause pregnancy, sometimes. And evolution is a
thing. And Benghazi was an attack on us, it was not a scandal BY us.

And nobody’s taking away anyone’s guns. And taxes have not gone up. And the deficit is dropping,
actually. And Saddam Hussein did not have weapons of mass destruction.

And the moon landing? Was real. And FEMA is not building concentration camps. And UN election
observers are not taking over Texas. And moderate reforms on the regulations on the financial
industries and the insurance industries in this country are not the same as communism.

Listen. Last night was a good night for liberals and for Democrats, for very obvious reasons. But
it was also possibly a good night for this country as a whole.

But if the conservative movement and the conservative media and the Republican party is stuck
in a vacuum-sealed, door-locked, spin cycle of telling what makes them feel good, and denying
the actual lived truth of the world, we are all deprived, as a nation, of the very debate between
competing, feasible ideas about real problems.

Last night the Republicans got shellacked, and they had NO idea it was coming. And we saw them
in real time - in real, humiliating time - not believe it even as it was happening to them. And unless
they want to secede, they will need to pop the fictional bubble they have been so happily living
inside, if they do not want to get shellacked again."
— Rachel Maddow

A New Republican Approach...

~ Republicans Consider Welcoming People Who Believe in Math and Science ~

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—
After disappointing results in Tuesday’s election, Mr. Priebus said that it was time for Republicans to become
“more tolerant of those with a math-and-science lifestyle.”
“Just because we don’t believe in those things doesn’t mean we can’t get along with people who do,” he said.
“We want to send this message: math and science Americans are Americans, too.”
In the biggest departure from its previous electoral strategy, Mr. Priebus said, the Republican Party is
“even considering trying to appeal to women.”
“I read recently that women are as much as fifty-one per cent of the population,” he said. “That number
sounded crazy high to me, but maybe one of our new math Republicans can check on it for us.”

The Borowitz Report:
http://www.newyorker.com/onlin.....?mbid=nl_Borowitz%20(48)